


Thank You

by carmela616



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27889381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmela616/pseuds/carmela616
Summary: i'm an angsty bisexual who misses cas so now i'm putting all my feelings into dean okay
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Thank You

**Author's Note:**

> you can blame twitter user macfindspride for this.

Dean had been putting it off for weeks. Looking at it brought a wrench in his gut, and so he had simply avoided the bunker garage altogether, parking the Impala outside so he wouldn't have to see Cas's car, sitting abandoned, waiting for its owner to return.

He couldn't bear to sell it. That felt wrong. It seemed like a dismissal of the times they had driven together, late at night, the reflection of the headlights on highway signs, the 3am radio churning out classic tunes, the urge to ask Cas to pull over and confess feverishly what he had wanted to do for so long-

But he was gone. The opportunity—well, opportunities—had passed. Years of chances, and now Castiel was gone.

I love you.

These words echoed through Dean's head. In the morning, when he woke up. During the day, while he was trying to work jobs. And worst of all, at night.

Night after night, Cas's confession haunted his dreams. But no matter how much his body was wracked with sobs, or how loudly he screamed into his pillow, Cas would never hear.

And so Cas's car continued to sit in the garage.

Dean knew he would have to do something with it eventually. Dad had drilled it into him that cars need proper upkeep, and so he knew by letting it sit around for this long, he was really pushing his luck.

But the thought of being in such an exclusively  Cas  environment scared him. The door to Cas's room in the bunker had remained shut. He didn't know whether Sam had gone in or not, but every time he walked past, the door was firmly closed. If he closed his eyes, fingers trailing along the wood grain, Dean could even imagine the angel sitting on the bed inside, the sound of lightsaber battles trailing out as Cas studied up to understand Dean's many references.

But he had to do it. He couldn't let go of such a tangible, physical reminder of Cas.

And so eventually Dean took a deeply shaky breath. Grabbed the keys from the table. And opened the door to the garage.

Such a small task, yet lifting his legs felt like moving through several feet of mud.

Dean found the proper key on the ring. Fitted it into the keyhole. A familiar yet utterly distant movement.

A small tug on the door handle. and he was inside.

Oh, the smell. The one he only rarely got to truly lose himself in when a hunt that was a close call gave him the excuse to give Cas a hug. He always forced himself to count, making sure he didn't hold on too long, seem too different, give away anything but purely friendly intentions.

But Castiel's scent: his sandalwood shampoo, mixed with the faint fuzzy tone of dust that always hung around him, as if a reminder that Cas wasn't Of This World.

It enveloped him, making him lightheaded with aching loneliness. He wasn't sure how long he waited there, breathing in Cas.

He finally turned the key in the ignition, and started suddenly when a song began playing.

He shook his head at first, scoffing at himself for being taken by surprise by the  _ radio _ . But then he realized he recognized the familiar beat, the twang of the guitars.

The cassette player was displaying the words "TAPE TRACK 4" in faded black lights.

Thank You by Led Zeppelin.

"If the sun refused to shine 

I would still be loving you 

When mountains crumble to the sea

There will still be you and me"

Tears welled in Dean's eyes.

He pressed the eject button, and out popped the mixtape he had given to Cas years ago.

He had never seen Cas listening to it, never heard him mention it, had no right to believe he had ever given it a single listen.

But here it was.

And here he was.

**Author's Note:**

> look i came up with this concept while dming sad shit to my friend and i wanted to flesh it out a bit more so here we are. also i have no clue what sandalwood smells like but alec lightwood uses sandalwood shampoo so. also i wrote this while listening to hannibal piano music so that's why it's gay and annoying.


End file.
